It’s been one month since John asked me to marry him and I feel like I finally had time to process it! To be honest, I knew this day would happen since the moment I saw him my senior year of high school and I’m, embarrassed to admit that I came home from school telling my mom “that I was going to marry this kid from Providence,” and now 13 years later here we are - engaged!!
Every time I look down I think to myself .. “is this real life," every night we go to bed, I think about “how did we get here,” and sometimes I just smile and laugh thinking once upon a time I would blush every time I saw him and could barely get my words out. I just can’t believe our life together is really just starting.
I am so excited and happy to take our relationship to the next level, but I always love to be transparent and open that our relationship is not and will never be perfect! I know how easy it is to look at social media, see a photo, and think wow must be easy! I am so proud of who've we've become as a couple and excited to see what our future holds! Let me share a little bit more about how we met :).
Our love story
So as you read above I did say senior year in high school ... yes that's when I first saw John in the hallways of our school. I was walking out of Spanish class and remember being like "woah who is that" and immediately running to my besties and being like "for real who is that kid?" We obviously stalked the yearbook and figured out he was a year younger than us then we asked the younger girls on our vball team for all the deets. I learned that he was single and from that point on would want to talk to him but had no clue how ... writing this makes me laugh because I was SO AWKWARD ... and thinking of how I am now I can't believe I was ever that shy or nervous, but I was!
He soon got word that I had a crush on him and he actually came up to my locker one day and I legit froze and thought for sure I lost my chance … but of course that weekend he happened to be at the same party as me and with some liquid courage I started a conversation with him. We exchanged numbers that night which happened to be one of the first nights heading into Summer break and from that day on it seemed like we were hanging every day. From swimming, late night bonfires, bowling, movies, beach days, laser tag, go carts, we did it all. I remember thinking I never want this to end - I spent every moment thinking about him and our life together!
We met the Summer going into college and since John was a year younger than me I really didn’t know what would happen when I went away. It made me sad thinking about being apart and I knew with the Summer coming to an end we would decide what we were going to do moving forward - I was off to Central Connecticut State to play volleyball and we decided that we would stay together that year! Lot’s of Skype’s back then LOL, visits home, letters, and more kept things exciting and fun! Obviously looking back at that time we were truly in love then, but we were 18 at the time!
After finishing my freshman year at CCSU I decided to quit my volleyball career and transfer to Miami of Ohio while John went off to U of I! At that time I was really starting to struggle with my identity of not being an athlete anymore, transferring schools, joining a sorority, dealing with anxiety/depression, and John was also navigating his first year. We decided to break up going into my Junior year in college and I will say it was one of the hardest times for me. I cried for what seemed a whole year, went to therapy, talked to anyone who would listen and I am very open about this because I learned a lot during those times ... just to name a few below:
Don’t ever rely on anyone else for your own happiness - your friends, family, and significant other will/can bring into your life, but you need to have your own happiness
Having your own hobbies, interests, and life is so important - I will be the first to admit I lost myself in John once, and yes, it was out of true love but I always put him first and I centered my days around him - I learned you have to have your own life and interests
You can love a lot while still fulfilling your own needs, wants, passions, and dreams - I learned I can still love him completely while also be fulfilling my own needs
Communication is everything - If you do not communicate you cannot expect to get what you want or need. Men are NOT mind readers and I learned you have to tell them exactly what you want and need lol - it's pretty simple and if they can't give you that, adjust, or change, then you can take a walk.
If they want you, they will make effort - men aren't that complicated ... sadly not just with John, but with other men I learned .. like if they want you - they will find a way to be with you or they are not interested.
So you’re probably wondering …. “well how did you get back together?” I won’t bore you with all the back and forth over the years lol (lots of texts, drunk dials, love letters the works), but I will tell you the good stuff in between only because it all served it's purpose and I learned so much along the way!
After getting out of a serious 3 year relationship I took a year to be single and did all the things - blind dates, Bumble, going out the works … and I went on a lot of dates -- at that time I felt like dating was kind of easy, because I was very clear about what I wanted in a guy. 99% of my dates were either coffee, brunch, a hike, a walk, or dinner! I wanted someone who wanted to do the same things I did. I had another short fling while living in Arizona, but then in July of 2017 John and I started talking again, so I ended things there.
I came home for a trip to the lake and I felt something in my stomach that I should reach out to him. We hadn’t talked in years and I will say he did attempt to book a flight to AZ along the ride, which I denied, so I felt like I was the one who had to reach out. I asked my mom if I should text him and she was always team John, so of course she was my hype woman.
I reached out not knowing if he would respond and there was the text back :) … we decided to meet up and that is when things really started to ignite again. I was still living in AZ and he had recently just moved back to Chicago from Houston. I was in my third year working in Spine for Stryker at that time and I knew it would be time to move home soon to Chicago, so I decided to take the leap.
I LOVED my job and my life in Arizona, but I decided to move home and after several months of chatting John and I were back together again ... after 6 years!!!! At first, I really couldn't believe it because we both had grown so much and I in my eyes was a very different person. I prioritized different things, I was extremely serious about my career, I loved working out, eating healthy, I barely drank, and I was nervous how he would embrace this new MK, but he accepted me as I am.
John and I officially have been back together almost 4 years and I cannot begin to explain the growth we've had individually, but also as a couple. Through all the dark times I knew there would be light, and I knew if it didn't workout then it wasn't meant to be ... but here we are standing as soon to be husband and wife and I will tell you this man was meant for me. He is patient, he is funny, he is calm, he is the BEST LISTENER, my number 1 supporter, and truly let's me be me. He embraces my INTENSE SPICY SCORPIO energy and never makes me feel like too much. I always knew he'd be my one!
Speaking of the one … let’s talk engagement!
The proposal
